The Hiding Place

Winding my way down the back roads toward the outskirts of the place I grew up, I found myself giddy like a school girl who was going to lay eyes on her crush after months apart.  I spoke out loud to Him, telling Him I couldn’t wait to see Him and be alone with Him.  He was there with me, driving toward my destination, residing in my heart, and yet He was already there, at The Hiding Place, waiting for me with surprises up His sleeve.  He was even more excited than I was – how was it even possible?!

The closer I drove, the more I could see Him.  He was everywhere, but especially in the changing colors of the trees.  And I laughed as I saw the sign at the end of the road that pointed toward my destination – The Hiding Place.

When I walked through the front door, I wanted to shout with joy and cry all at the same time.  A kind woman greeted me and helped me carry my things to my very own private room.  The conversation was natural and unforced with everyone.  A few quick hugs and introductions, and I saw Him in each of their faces.  These women had come just like me, seeking Him.  Searching for rest and relief in the One we all love and adore.

We dined together and gleaned wisdom from one who values the power of silence and solitude.  She spoke slowly and softly to us and we shared our hearts.  I could see myself in each of their stories, and yet she gently reminded us all that we are uniquely made.  That there will never be another Susan Briggs, ever, and that Jesus has a unique plan for me and an inexplicable love and desire for me.  I felt loved and cherished by Jesus through her words.

We read:

“It is a difficult lesson to learn today, to leave one’s friends and family and deliberately practice the art of solitude for an hour or a day or a week.  For me, the break is most difficult...And yet, once it is done, I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious.  Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before!” –Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Tears welled in my eyes.  I know full well the power of silence and solitude, but I do not practice it enough.

We continued:

“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling love in a quite absolute final way.  What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evening, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.  Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.” –Pedro Arrupe, S.J.

It was then that I loved Him, truly, without reservation...perhaps for the first time.  I’d loved Him on many levels, but I saw the love He offers me and the love I want to display for Him in a new light.  This is the love from Calvary.  This is the love affair I want to define my life.

And then they sent us away to be silent and still before Him.  He had thrown down the gauntlet...put His heart on the line.  He called to me, wooed me, did everything He could to show me His love.  And He waited, again and again.  He was waiting for me this time in the beauty of His creation.  He was waiting for me at The Hiding Place.

And so I made my way, nervously, excitedly, wondrously to Him.  I went to my room, shut off my phone, gathered some essentials and a glass of sweet tea (I’m in Tennessee, after all) and wandered until I found Him.  he was there in the middle of an opening in the woods.  The sky was blue, the grass green, the sun warm, and the breeze cool.  He prepared the day more perfectly than I could have imagined.

I was so glad I’d worn my favorite sundress and blue cardigan.  I felt beautiful for Him.  I was comfortable in my own skin as He smiled on me in the warmth of the October sun.

I was a little awkward at first, knowing I wanted to reach the place of intimacy for which I longed with Him, but not wanting to force anything or take matters in my own hands.  Silence and solitude were my instructions.  I spread out a blanket and fidgeted.  I could feel Him smiling, maybe even laughing a little at my silliness, my childlike insecurity.  After a long while, He spoke:

“Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to Me.  Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with Me and work with Me – watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.  –Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

I read slowly and listened to Him speaking to me.  I admired His beauty, His wisdom, His love for me, His passionate pursuit of me.

He taught me, slowly, quietly, deeply, the unforced rhythms of grace.  I lay prostrate, praising and gushing over Him, and He hushed me.  He wanted me to listen.  He spoke in the whispering wind, the singing birds, the chirping insects, the green blades of grass, the clear skies, the golden sun.  There is nothing forced at The Hiding Place.  He forced none of His teaching on me, none of His love...He simply offered it, and hesitantly, slowly, I took it, little by little, I grabbed His hand and rested my head on His heart.  And oh, how it was beating.  It was beating for me.

I drifted in and out of peaceful sleep as He showed me how to take a real rest.  A real rest.  He showed me how His grace and love for me have been unforced for all eternity...but always rhythmic and consistent.  He sang rhythms of grace over me.

When I awoke, I had seen myself as He saw me.  He was watching me rest.  He saw me, His beautiful girl, sleeping peacefully, delighting in His presence.  He told me He loved me – working, resting, messed up, redeemed.  Always.  Consistently.  Rhythmic grace.

And then I wrote about Him.  As I wrapped up our time together, I felt sad that we were departing this moment.  But there was more Good News.  He was coming with me.  I would follow Him wherever He led.  He would never leave my side.  And so I arose...learning, always learning, and loving His unforced rhythms of grace.